I like rice. A lot.

To eat, sicko. You know I really hate it when you automatically make something disgusting out of a love as pure as mine for rice. It’s just not funny. In fact, it’s juvenile and unbecoming a person of your stature.

Anyway; if you’d quit interrupting, I’d get to my point: I don’t work for the rice industry, but I’d like to (hint to all of you rice moguls out there) because I bet there’d be a sweet employee discount on all of those fancy rices that normally cost tens, sometimes hundreds, of cents per pound at the grocery store.