My intern gave me this accident report today in reference to a 1/4-inch scratch just south of his right elbow he got while lifting a crate last week. I’ll translate below if you have trouble reading it and I’ve redacted names to protect the innocent.

“Exposed nail on the box accidenty [sic] cut my arm. I didn’t see the nail … until it was too late. Due to the pain I felt I looked at my arm and realized my blood was there.

“I’ve felt pain before, however, due to years of strength conditioning I can handle most blows delivered by the human hand. [redacted], a newfound friend of mine, and a worker at [redacted] was there with me. He said, ‘[redacted],OMG! Your [sic] bleeding,’ He had already sprung into action. As fast as [redacted] could run, he scurried to grab the first aid kit. I quickly applied pressure to the wound, as I looked up toward the Heavens and questioned myself, ‘Why have I been complacent on my strength workouts?’ As we all know, your [sic] only as strong as your last workout. What was only moments, but felt like days, [redacted] soon returned and helped conceal this wound, a wound I will never forget.”